This is how job applications should be. I can show you that one. I can’t show you the applications I received for this position, but suffice it to say most came nowhere near Guy’s second version, let alone his first.
I did lament this fact to a few people, but quickly realised I should not try to ‘help’ applicants who don’t bother (or are unable) to proof-read their applications. Doing so may get them past the first round (The Great Resume Cull), but then they’d simply fail in the interview. So it’s probably better that they quit whilst ahead. Don’t proof-read. Don’t tailor your application to the position. Just SPAM every available position that has some tangential relevance to whatever you think the world owes you as a career. Of course, they may have more luck with an HR drone than a small business owner/operator (and budding entrepreneur), particularly when you introduce political reasons for hiring (as opposed to straight ‘Can they do the job?’ issues).
I did receive one e-mail from an evidently competent person (those who know me realise I am more than quick to use the word ‘incompetent’ on nearly anyone, so take this as something of a big deal) who termed it an “absolute classic”. I was surprised, because I distinctly remember taking out the geek humour (such as, at a bare minimum, requiring applicants to provide the answer to the Ultimate Question – you know, Life, The Universe and Everything, but preferably submitting a proof to P=NP or, failing that, to the Poincaré Conjecture as an attachment) due to character restrictions. Anyway, this guy is busy (understandably – competent people are a) hard to find and b) self-motivated to succeed and hence –> busy), but I do have his CV on hand. I’ll just have to remember to keep it in a separate pile to the ‘wood-yu-laikto-outsorcedat?’ applications. i.e. OUT of my Junk Mail box.
Anyway, I’m currently debating whether to:
a) start a few more blogs and separate by content (www.lifewithmediocrity.com for whinges, blog.hiveservices.com for management & keeping www.drkellam.com for personal stuff)
b) the above, with a metablog containing all posts, categories determine sub-blogs
c) keep ranting & raving here on anything that grabs my fancy
d) all of the above
e) none of the above
f) some of the above
g) logically incongruent sequence of above
h) all of the above excluding the ‘x of the above’ questions
i) all of the above INcluding the ‘x of the above’ questions
[mandatory multi-guess formatting applied]